Attention! Are you tired of that frumpy, froudy, humdrum existence you shamefully call a life? Ever considered undergoing what's commonly known as a social facelift? Have a hankering to show up that vapid little "hollaback" girl you have to put up with eight hours a day who seems to draw a paycheck by simply showing up each day? How would you like for men to obey your most frivolous commands while thanking you for giving them the opportunity to do so? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then the door to your sexy, sensational new life is halfway open! Just put your body in famed pin-up maestro Les Toil's able and willing hands and after he's done with it, you, too, will be proud to claim the title Toil Girl! This could be the dawning of a new era or just another entry in your ever-growing list of great regrets! Don't just sit there in unbearable hesitancy staring at this webpage and squeezing the life out of that rubber Hello Kitty stress-relief toy! Take the plunge, sister! Hundreds have already done so and the results are nothing less than phenomenal. It's the dawning of a new era, cupcake, and you'll need a brand new outfit and attitude for the big event!

The qualifications for being a Toil Girl are quite simple actually. First and foremost, you must not be skinny. Here at the ToilTime Studios™ we believe an ample anatomy is the most desired and aesthetically pleasing an artist's model can have--and art history backs up that claim. The more curves the better, basically. so if you see Ally McBeal in the reflection of your mirror, consider yourself an unfit specimen. You are among the genetically inferior who will be immediately shown to the exit door. Our requirements may be a bit stringent, but they are necessary for running such a successful and reputable establishment.

To begin the process, a fair amount of photo reference is necessary for the production of a quality work of art. At least three face shots (preferably not all at the same angle), and at least one full body shot are needed. Photos sent through email are preferred but snail mail will do just fine. Any and all mailed material will be safely returned.

Who decides on the portrait concept?

Hopefully you do. Since the objective is to produce a distinctive portrait that reflects the body and soul of the client, we feel it only right that the client, herself, conceive the theme. Mr. Toil will gladly appease your wildest whims (as long as it doesn't involve unicorns). We want every pixel to represent your fantasies, desires and interests. Of course if you don't have anything in mind for a portrait, Mr. Toil will be more than happy to pull out his Big Book of Ideas and run a few clever concepts by you. He often misplaces this book during the busy morning hours, so if whatever ideas he submits to you are a bit stale and tired, contact him again in the late afternoon or evening and simply ask, "Mr. Toil, have you found your Big Book of Ideas yet?". Ultimately, your pin-up portrait should represent you through-and-through, and usually that's achieved with a small investment of time expressing to Mr. Toil what your loves and interests are.

What do I get?

• • A glossy high-quality 81/2" x 11" full color reproduction of your portrait at 1,440 dpi resolution suitable for framing over your fireplace, bed board, spice rack, or in your office or breakfast nook.
  
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• • The very large, original pen & ink artwork signed and dated by Mr. Toil, also ideal for display.
  
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• • A digital jpeg format reproduction of your portrait (such as the many on this website) will be emailed to you for your own personal purposes..
• • The large high-resolution digital file of your art will be placed on a CD-Rom so you can reproduce your portrait in the comforts of your own home or at a professional print service center. From a large-size poster to a small-size greeting or business card, the possibilities are endless. No additional fee is required for the expense of the disk. Just remember to ask for your digital file.
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• • Your official Certificate of Toildom. This serves as a binding document that states the client has the rights to do as they please with their art which allows them to turn it into clothing, greeting cards, coffee mugs, etc. Remember, the copyright of the art is shared by both artist and client with the agreement that nothing shall become of the work that will, in any way, defame or discredit the artist or the client/subject of the pin-up portrait.
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  How much will this thing set me back?

  The final requisite that will assure you a new life of provocative promise will be your payment. The fee starts at 349.00 as that is the price of your most basic Toil portrait. But it could be more depending on how complex your pin-up concept is. You draped over a gorgeous Victorian fainting couch will be on the lower end of the fee scale. You conquering Naxis in a WW2 battle scene will be a bit more pricey. And an additional 15.00 covers the cost of your custom color print, your certificate, your computer disc as well as the shipping of all your goodies (shipping outside of the U.S. will be slightly more).

  Your payment options

  • You can pay for your portrait in full before I begin the final art.

  • You can pay half of the fee before I begin the final art and the second half after the portrait is completed.

  • You can pay 250.00 before I begin the final art and the remainder within six months after the art is completed.

  Two final things to be mindful of

  • Please don't engage in a portrait transaction if you aren't prepared to actually have a portrait done. I certainly don't mind answering any and all questions about having a portrait done, but I do take issue with people that initiate an email exchange with me to discuss the content of a potential portrait and have me do sketches of a potential portrait, only to then be told they don't have the fee but will contact me when they do. And eight times out of ten that will be the last I'll ever hear from them. It's so incredibly time-consuming to work out a design concept for someone, which is why I hope you respect my time as you expect others to respect yours. :)

  • To be fair and allow all interested parties the chance to have a portrait created for themselves, there is a restriction of one Toil portrait per customer. This also helps your Toil portrait to maintain its exclusivity. With that said, choose wisely when choosing a concept!

  LesToil@comcast.net
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  Still not convinced?

  So you still have doubts that Les Toil can change you from a frumpy frauline to a sensational Cinderella? You still don't believe Les can achieve for you in mere days what the best Beverly Hills plastic surgeon can only claim? And keep in mind makeovers don't last forever, but Toil Girl status does! Well don't take our word for it. Here's some words from but a few of our many customers.

  "You have no idea how long I've wanted to jump on that Toil band wagon! And now that I have, I am absolutely delighted with what Les Toil has done for me! Why, my children say it's taken ten years off of my life! "Mommy, you have a glow!" they tell me! And hubby has become a regular Tony the Tiger in the romance department. Thank you, Les!". Mrs. C. Spotrunn, Waycrest, La

  "Not only was I your average Wanda Wallflower, but my figure was about as scrawny and limp as my very life was! Over the course of time and the course of nature, my figure grew substantially more "generous". The ToilTime Studios welcomed me and my newfound curves with open arms. In a few days Les helped me become the talk of the break room! I'm a regular feast of sensuality now!". Ms. Ida Clair, Rutland, Vt

  "Honey chile, my only regret is that I didn't find out about Les Toil even sooner! Can you imagine I once considered lyposuction on my hips?? The only knife that's getting near these voluptuous curves will be the one to cut my anniversary cake! I've been a full-fledged Toil Girl for five years now and life hasn't been sweeter!" C. Yousoon, The Congo (West side)

  "I used to chase my children around the house with a Hot Wheel track at the slightest provocation, but since becoming a Toil Girl, I frolic through the poppy fields and skip down crowded avenues as if I had live gold fish in my knickers! I feel like a giddy, young school girl given a new lease on life! God bless ya, Les!" Mrs. M. Ulate, Boone County, NC

  Make no bones about it! Les Toil will give you the kind of V.I.P. status Paris Hilton couldn't buy! Come join the satisfied and mirthful many that are congregating on mountain tops worldwide to shout those triumphant words... "I'm a Toil Girl and you're not!!" ......

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  Lestoil@comcast.net